Champions League April 27: Mourinho enjoys the view from a small step while hairy man tries desperately to lick him....

Room with a view. Jose Mourinho enjoys the better part of the second half in the stands with a hairy man tying to lick his face. 

This mornings match was yet again another typical Mourinho performance. All the build up was brilliantly orchestrated by the special one, resulting in one of the more heated Classico's in recent years, brilliant stuff. 

Shame it didn't pay off. 

Before Pepe's red card I think it would have ended a draw, the game was scrappy and compact with both sides squeezing the shit out of each other. 

How 'Lass' Diara didn't get 8 yellow cards is beyond me. The man was raping everything on the pitch. 

Pepe was hard done by for the occasion. 

Messi did what he does and won it for Barca. Magic. 

Mourinho's post match presser was hilarious and I'm sure a size 48 UEFA boot will be up his ass by nightfall. 

Cant wait for the return leg. 

The royal wedding is almost among us!!!!!!!!

Why does anyone give a fuck about the royal wedding? They are just two human beings having a fucking wedding. Everyone does it, who gives a shit. 

Apparently Australian's do???!!! Every fucking time I move my eyeballs in another direction I am bombarded with this horse shit!!

What will she wear? Who will be on the guest list? Where will they honeymoon? How many tits is she gonna flop out? How this is even remotely interesting to anyone is beyond my small brains comprehension.

I'm sorry, I just can't see the point in making this the story of the century. Give it a mention, ok, fine, I can deal with that but front page top story headlines for two weeks? Fuck my face off.

Anyone who is interested in this shit is a deadshit, kill yourself, you are wasting my air. How is this wedding going to add to your life? If you answered more than zero in your tiny pea dick head.... Fuck you.

Get a fucking life.

Do you feel like you've lost your soul after doing this?

I don't know why I do this, but I do, and after I've done it, I'm left feeling dead inside.

What could I be doing to leave me in such a state?


What does this achieve you wonder?

Well, nothing positive.

A dipshit will come up to me and say hello, I'll greet them and have a quick chat about their day bla bla dick. They then feel the need to try and say something funny.... This is where it all turns to shit. I'm talking about the retards who you don't consider a friend, but think you like them at least enough to bare their attempts at humor.

They hit you with one of their pathetic jokes and what do you do? It's so shit I feel like telling them to stop breathing, but instead I laugh..... I laugh convincingly too!

I don't entirely understand why I feel the need to give unfunny morons sympathy laughs but I do it and it makes my balls hurt. Now some may think this is just being polite, which it is. One problem I have with it all is the fact that once you give someone that first fake laugh, you open the floodgates for years of painful fucking retard jokes which you also will have to laugh at to continue on the niceness!

I want to stab them in the groin with a blunt object. It can't just be me who has encountered this shit. This is a disease....

And it must be stopped!!!

- Posted by me

Holy shit it has been a while.... But why you say, WHY!!?

Don't give a fuck that's why.

- Posted by me